Broken, piece by piece
by filthysmile
Summary: He drinks, she sighs, he watches, she shifts. They break. d/e


Title: Broken, piece by piece.

Word Count: 3790

Warning: mentions sex

Spoilers: None, runs just before founders day

Summary: He drinks, she sighs, he watches, she shifts. They break.

Prompt: 'I'm broken' for un_love_you over at livejournal

Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly

AN: So nervous posting this... I haven't really written anything good in a while so here goes nothing!

(please tell me how I did, too OCC, never write TVD again haha.. etc.)

* * *

It, _they, _started with a passionate "I hate you".

That's what she was mumbling all through the first time they had sex. He was not an idiot, considering that he _was_ the biggest bachelor in town, and over a hundred years old, he knew that they were _just_ having sex, he convinced himself then that it was the same for him and for her. 'Just sex', she mumbled against his soft lips_. 'I won't bite you'_ went unsaid. Teeth nibbling softly on her collarbone, hot mouths pressed against each other, feverish touches... They weren't really at that place yet where they could allow themselves to think the thought of 'making sweet, sweet love'. They were not fools. He wasn't gentle and she didn't want him to be. She was practically growling at him, 'harder, faster, f_aster'_

Afterwards –what Damon considered the best sex of her life- she simply mumbled 'stupid vampire brothers.' Before she left, and after she had gathered all her clothing, she added as an afterthought 'Stupid vampires,' and left him staring at the ceiling, his midriff covered in a crisp, white sheet.

Though he was an old (and very much wise, and did he ever mention witty?) vampire, when sweet, innocent Elena left (he snorts in his mind), his whole body had felt the full force of the door slamming against the frame, it unnerved him how someone small could cause so much ruckus. This thought played on his mind for some time, maybe this, _them_, was something more than her momental lapse in judgement. Hours after she had left, he showered and made himself comfortable in his favourite arm-chair. For the first time in a long while Damon Salvatore looked happy, and as he sat there, his clear blue eyes sparked with something more than mischief, he only prayed to God that St. Stefan saw the bruises _his_ hands left on her.

* * *

Elena was one of those good-hearted, butter-couldn't-melt-in-her-mouth types of girls. Admittedly, she did attract a lot of supernatural danger, or danger in general, but she always had somebody to protect her, whether it was her vampire boyfriend, his brother (who _occasionally_ showed a redeeming side), her best friend... there was always somebody there. Elena was always the type of girl who was fearless, she guessed it had come from her heritage, but she refused to resemble Katherine in any way- at one point she even considered getting a face transplant but Caroline (who had no idea of who Katherine was, and why Bonnie thought Elena's solution to the problem was funny) googled it and Elena decided that maybe her face could stay the same- for a while, anyway.

Now, Elena was alone. _She chose to be alone. _

Before Stefan rode up and parked his big white horse at the centre of her life, she used to love being alone, nobody to ask her whether she was okay, and nobody to send her those piercing pitying looks, just her and her diary, one on one.

The silence seemed stark.

She felt naked in her old bedroom, her diary left closed on the table. Not wanting to admit this humiliation to anyone, she stared at a blank page for some time before closing the diary and avoiding it like the plague. Usually writing all her emotions down helped her deal with the angst she felt, but she looked at the worn journal and began flipping through the pages, her most intimate details were held there, her parents, her whole story with Stefan... everything was in there... she wondered whether her diary could make her a famous fiction writer, after all her life seemed like something out of a bad horror novel. She had everything in there, from a love triangle which began years ago to vampires and magical compasses, throw in a magical wand and she was guaranteed to be the next J.K Rowling. She toys with the idea of calling it "The Vampire Diaries" or "The A-Z guide of normalcy" but settles on "The fucked up life of Elena Gilbert".

As she lay down in her bed, she didn't make a fuss, she didn't howl with tears, she didn't scream. Her petite, slender shape lay still under her woolly covers, nobody but the boy outside her window knew that she was crying silently.

Elena had mixed feelings about everyone. Exhibit A- her boyfriend's brother: Damon Salvador was an infuriating jerk. He killed people. He killed people for pleasure, he used them, hell, and he'd even killed her birth mother (turning/killing, practically the same thing) (albeit the woman was a complete bitch, and she made one sexy vampire, and maybe it wasn't _really_ his fault, but would it kill the guy to say sorry? Why couldn't he show some kind of **remorse**?) Then she thinks that maybe he is right, she does suck, and maybe he's in love with her, but she can't really be sure... but still only monsters are incapable of saying a simple apology.

She didn't even know why he was the first exhibit, it was as if her mind travelled to him first, stupid neutrons fired away in her brain and she was damn confused. What bugged Elena the most, what made her really angry, is that if she really looked deep enough, she knew that he wasn't a monster. Yes, he was rotten to the core, but at least he was willing to try being good, _sometimes_ (and really, isn't that what really mattered?) As she lay there, what really got to her was that **he** sucked her blood. She let him **taste** her. She had dealt with him being all high on blood and she got him through it, (she did blame herself for not knowing better, a tiny voice in her head screamed silently that Damon would've been, **is** strong enough.) Yet, still Stefan betrayed her. **Her** prince charming was whoring around with her best friend. Irony doesn't even begin to describe it.

She didn't know which brother she hated more, and that thought alone made her laugh out loud. Not laughing manically, it was a cross between swallowing bitter tears and gulping her laughter back.

She stood up from her bed, wiping the black mascara and eye goo away from her brown orbs, and made her way to the discarded journal. Returning to her bed she silently flickered through her diary again, this time her neat words were embedded in her mind. There were lies and so much hatred towards one brother and so much sickening love towards the other. Then confusion_, 'he promised (damn him, Damon always keeps his promises),'_ and _'why was his pasta so damn __**good**__? (Can Stefan cook?)' _She wondered why it was her hands traced those words the most, the ones about the older Salvatore, why she cared enough to want to re-live those tiny little episodes that made her life interesting, it was like Damon was the missing ingredient in her life, she used the analogy of him being the salt (her, the ludicrously tasty main dish, pun not intended), he was sour and broken and not necessarily what was good for her, but he made her life taste so much better.

By the end of the night, she still hadn't decided what to do, who to love, who to hate, because whilst one brother was engaged in a passionate embrace with a witch, the other, the one she should hate more, stood below her window, waiting for the permission to let him fix her.

* * *

He, being the more mature and in-control brother, wanted to rub it in Stefan's face. He wanted to be suggestive and cruel and make her hate him even more that she already had, but naturally his nurturing heart stopped him. He blamed it on the etched image of her he had saved in his mind, or rather the first scene- she had attacked him in his room. He _had_ heard her come in, of course, but naturally assumed that she was there to see Stefan. (Assuming Stefan was actually there.) She strode into his room as if she'd owned the place and pounced on him. Her glazed eyes seemed to shine with so much passion, her lips parted slightly as her breathing sped up as his hands travelled _everywhere_. Thinking about it, Damon's smirk rivalled Sylar's.

Maybe (and this was an extremely huge maybe) he felt something more each time they happened. When she touched him, his body felt as if her hands were burning him. She was burning holes in his armour. He hadn't persuaded the relationship, if anyone ever found out he wanted _her_ to bear all the guilt, yes he was selfish and maybe even sadistic but he knew she'd come back, it was one boat they shared, and if she was going to force him down the plank, he'd survive, but she wouldn't. (Being a vampire has its perks, even in mind-scenarios)

Every time she touched him, she was breaking both of them.

Both were addicted to the feverish kisses, to the longing looks they shared, to the passion which burnt between them, they seemed irreplaceable to one another. His hands sent little quivers of excitement, like tiny springs uncoiling into spirals through her, her body would sing and her lips would produce the sweetest sounds. She never thought of Stefan, he made sure that she remembered that he **was** _better_ that the sweet, good brother, he made sure she knew exactly who she was dealing with, when they had rough sex he'd tug on her neck and smile devilishly, to remind her of who's in control, and when in response she bit him, hard, he knew that she didn't care at that moment who he was, and then the angry sex was the best kind, she'd try to hurt him physically and he'd leave bruises all over her body... she needed to know she could break, and should he choose, _he would break her_.

He knew exactly **what** she was too, so every time she left him in his bed, body recovered from the ugly scars and purple handprints, his armour locked back into place.

On the days where she knew he watched them together, she wanted to scream at him to leave her alone, to stop intoxicating her mind... on these days all she saw in front of her eyes were Stefan and Bonnie doing things she wished she had not seen. In the end she always decided _she hated Damon more_ (for things, what things she couldn't really remember anymore, but for events which he had caused in her life) and held onto Stefan tighter. Her full attention was focused on their golden couple status, she said she wanted normal, Stefan hadn't questioned the fact that she kept setting them up on double dates, and outside from the supernatural drama, (wasn't there always that with Stefan?) She was never alone with him.

* * *

On the days when she was pretending everything was a-okay with the pathetic excuse of the animal loving brother, he told himself the hurt locked behind her facade was just a mistake on his part, that he didn't notice the cracks on her beautiful canvas. He wondered when was the last time they had sex, because Damon was almost stalking her, (he'd like to clear this up: just because curiosity killed a cat, doesn't mean it would kill him; _he couldn't be killed_) he knew that they were not 'intimate', she was practically never alone with him anyway, so unless eye-sex counts for something (and lately its only him she's been undressing with her eyes) Stefan and Elena were at distance, and Damon could not be happier about it.

So it is a vicious circle, she sits, clutching Stefan's hand and tries to look interested in what Caroline is saying, whilst pointedly ignoring the eyes boring into the back of her head, he sits watching in disgust as Stefan pulls her hand to his mouth and kisses her knuckles gently; he nurses his scotch and observes the double date, and she tries to play her part in the deceiving relationship.

He drinks, she sighs, he watches, she shifts. They break.

* * *

She subtly watched them in the hallway, to human eyes it looked like a simple exchange between friends, nobody but her could see the connection between them, the way his eyes lit up whenever her mouth opened... nobody but her in the crowded hallway could see that the two people talking outside her locker were lost in another world, where they were the two only people. He notices her staring, her heart gives her away... he could see the emotions in her eyes, how sad she was, maybe it was the first time he recognised that she wasn't the perfection everyone seemed to believe she was, he could see how broken she was, how broken she had become. Bonnie stared at her too; they were like two dears caught in the headlights.

Shaking her head, she walked away. When upon leaving the school she realised he isn't running after her, she thinks that maybe one day he'll stop disappointing her.

That night, darkness has seemed to take her in, and suffocate her until the tears she had shed have evaporated off her red cheeks completely. His arms are around her, and it is the first time he had come in, first time he had comforted her. His strong arms seem to be the only thing keeping her together, but breaking her apart at the same time. She gulps air down and wonders how he is not disgusted at her runny nose and at this _mess_ she had created. He seems to read her mind and kiss her head gently, to Elena this was a silent promise. _I will stay with you, I don't care what you look like, and I'm here. _

She thinks she understands Katherine's decision to leave; Elena would if she could, she thinks she's not strong enough to do what the older vampire did, It was like this: both brothers were incredible in so many different ways and she was greedy, and selfish and broken (both of them have succeeded in breaking her in many different ways) she found Damon infuriating and Stefan too sheltered, she found that each time Stefan did something wrong he was knocked off the pedestal she had created and every time Damon did something right she fell a little more for him. They were fire and ice, and she thinks she also knows why Katherine chose Damon all those years ago, but as her voice shakes as she tries to say _something_ to him, he simply tells her to 'shh' and he holds her closer. She does stay quiet, until her irrational heartbeat had slowed down and any traces if tears had completely gone, she inhales his sent and softly kisses his shoulder and afterwards the slow hum of the air outside lulls her to sleep.

* * *

Damon isn't home when she breaks up with Stefan, he isn't even in the country really, apparently 'he has some important business in Germany', he doesn't even know why he announces this before he goes, though the fact that he only tells her makes a small smile appear on her face and he thinks it's worth looking like a whipped idiot to see that look on her face (then he promptly snaps out of it and makes the sweet moment pass as quickly as it came).

He missed the only think he's really wanted to see for all the time their impromptu 'I hate you' encounters started (Since they've started fucking like rabbits basically). Consequently when he comes back from his interesting little trip he is not happy when he sees a brooding Stefan, he really isn't and he isn't doing a happy river-dance in his head, nope, Damon had never been more concerned in his life... actually he was more curious as to which girl dumped him first, the witch or the girl he'd make his. (He really hoped it was the latter, but it would sweeten the deal if it was both,)

"Hey Stefanita, quit brooding and tell your dear brother what's on your mind?" He blamed the little more jump in his step on the springy floorboards.

The animalistic growl coming from his brother is the only response he gets, and Damon proceeds to ask innocently "Scotch?" Stefan frowns in response but nods anyway.

They sit on the leather couch and it's not even that uncomfortable.

"you know, you claim to be this broken man, who doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything... and she's so fragile and perfect and I cannot understand why she _chooses_ you over me,"

It is Damon's turn to frown.

"Little brother," he sighed, and wished this was not like a scene from supernatural where Sam and Dean bond over their past. (Obviously Stefan is not bad-ass enough to compete with Sam, Alaric maybe... but Stefan, not so much) "That's where you're wrong, I_ don't_ care but... _sometimes_, I care about the people worth caring about, I am not, nor have I ever been broken and Elena, she's as hard as nails," he rolled his eyes and continued, his happy voice making Stefan frown even more "maybe if you start accepting the fact, you won't 'loose' anyone else" he said sarcastically.

"She isn't!" Stefan begins to protest, Damon cuts him off with a sour comment "yes and she didn't completely ignore you fucking her best friend for months." He raises an eyebrow as Stefan frowns.

"She didn't know" He flatly states.

"Wow, never knew the witch's _that_ good, she walked in on you to doing the nasty" He states it as if it's common knowledge and leaves his little brother to brood some more, he as he made his way up the stairs he, thinks Stefan's a selfish bastard because Elena _should've_ been enough and how disgusting, really the witch? Damon has nothing against intercultural, interracial fucks but, lets all face it: the bitch has _crazy_ eyes. So he shakes his head, and leaves his little brother to ponder. He showered and called the local flower bouquet company, dressed and decided to pay one _free _Elena Gilbert a visit.

Just as he leaves he calls out to Stefan, who is _still_ brooding, "Oh and by the way, Katherine is dead" He sing-songs out of the door. Damon loves it when he can come back with a bang.

* * *

"Run away with me" He says passionately as she laughs in his face, his frame is once more lying on her bed, teddy in his arms. (She thinks he'll never admit it but the teddy bear is possibly the only reason he visits her)

"Nope," She pops the 'p' and he rolls his eyes at her rational state of mind.

"Think about me, you me, anywhere you want to go. Lots of fun, sex, lust, passion, what more can a girl want?" He wriggles his eyebrows and she almost finds him disturbing. Almost.

"How about finishing high-school?" She bites back and he rolls his eyes,

"Fine," He prolongs the word "we'll fake your certificates, it's _so_ easy these days" He suggests lightly and she huffs in annoyance.

"No"  
"Why not?

"Damon," She warns as he gets up off her bed.

"Damon," her protests get louder until they aren't really protests anymore, more like moans, his breath is on her face and his eyes hold hers "run away with me" he almost pleads with her, she smiles into his mouth.

He takes it as a maybe, at least its one step closer.

He thinks one day he'll make her his forever, if she asks, of course... she's been trying to wrap her head around the possibility of 'forever' with him, and maybe she could do it.

They aren't perfect him and her, they fit, she's the sun and he's the moon, they're at perfect balance with each other and maybe that's what perfection is, so much so, sometimes she's in awe of how unbelievably right they are for each other. (Obviously she'd never tell him that because his ego cannot get any bigger, what with 'history repeating' or something like that).

He works hard every day to corrupt her in one way or another, he's all about the fun side of life and most days she gives in because she likes seeing him genuinely happy. Other times they fight until both of them have hurt each other and sulk in whatever town they are, wherever they are... he usually does something reckless and she has to rescue him from one thing or another, when she doesn't come to find him he gets his shit together and realises they can't live like this forever.

They settle in London, there's a lot of hospitals and blood banks where he doesn't have to worry if some of the blood supply goes missing, nobody notices anyway, the tourists around are a given, so he's happy... she finds a nice enough job and even begins college, eager to learn.

Somewhere along the way they realise, both have spent too much time trying to inflict hurt upon themselves, now they re-build. He invests in the markets and actually _works_ daily, it's a routine and both soon get used to it. He turns her; they have to move into the countryside for a few months so their friends don't notice anything wrong with her. Yes, in that first month she breaks and he has to put her back together, and that's where they stand, together they can overcome anything... she thinks she's okay with that. Somehow her being a vampire makes them more complete, (she understands him a little better and he felt it was the right time, the right age for _this_, for them to make this decision).

Before their 'forever' started their relationship was a few meaningful touches, _fun_, now they're serious. They have forever to work _whatever_ they are out. He thinks he'll start with marriage, he couldn't think of a better way to show her he _means_ forever, (and he's gotten much sappier lately) they ponder on how they began, her a young teenager, broken from her parents' deaths, him broken from the heartless heartbreak, now they have forever... they hold hands in a bar not unlike the grill, they laugh at what their (more so her) friends say, he squeezes her hand and she gives him one of her secret smiles reserved just for him, they are teased and they smile at their friends; they shape each other, piece by piece, they can make it through... and that's really all they'll ever need.

_

* * *

_

thoughts?


End file.
